Just thought I'd post my partners in depth research into Birmingham City's history.
1. In 1874, Birmingham City Council made English compulsory, and introduced a three strikes and out system to deal with those that defied the new directive. Despite the severe penalties for speaking Brum, one Harold Ethan Wood refused to give up his incomprehensible dirlect and marched on the town hall chanting “My family will always speak Brum” He was arrested and made to watch Aston Villa home games until he went mad and was institutionalised.
Nb: In 1965 there was a resurgence of the lost language when Harold’s great grandson Roy formed a band singing original songs in Brum. Because of the fear of persecution from the family connection, Roy devised ever changing disguises including a wizard and father Christmas.
2. Birmingham is second only to London in size and population, but unlike London it is not tourist friendly. Such are the locals fears of outsiders, a multi-million-pound road building program was introduced in the seventies for the soul purpose of confusing incoming tourists. When Spaghetti junction opened in 1975, direction signs were strategically placed to make it impossible to enter the City. Only the invention of the SatNav stopped the perennial problem of motorist driving in ever decreasing circles until dying at the wheesl of their vehicles. By 1980 the problem had reached epidemic proportions, and the City Council was bankrupted through the cost of removing skeleton filled cars from the outer ring road.
Nb: Mobile sandwich seller Luke Chamberlain holds the record as the longest surviving driver. It is estimated that he remained on the same roundabout for 254 days, finally choking to death on a stale cheese and pickle sandwich. He left a wife, two children, three mars bars and a rancid Café Latte.
3. New Street Station was originally named “Birmingham Station” but at the grand opening in 1968 it was discovered that an access road hadn’t been built. The Queen was told that a plague had broken out and she returned to London none the wiser. A roughly made Baco foil crown was fashioned and placed on the head of a ticket collector, in hope that the expectant crowd would be fooled into thinking it was the Queen. Ticket collector Derek Hobson duly cut the ribbon and declared the station open. Everyone cheered and went home happy, though there was some concern about the fact that the queen had sported a full beard that day.
Nb: A new street was eventually built, and the station aptly renamed.
4. Birmingham City’s ground is named after Saint Andrew, the Patron Saint of underachievement.
5. It is rumoured that in 1934 a local Gypsy, angered by City fans peeing up her caravan on match day, broke into the ground and buried a carthorse in the centre circle. Dobbin was later signed on a one-year deal.
6. It is an urban myth that Trevor Francis once played for Birmingham City, as his accurate passing would not have fitted with the system Birmingham played, which was “Most players out of position most of the time”
7. Having just failed a trial with Birmingham City, Paul Henry (Benny from crossroads) hailed a cab, agreeing to share it with Susan Hanson (Miss Diane) Impressed by his good looks and intellect, she talked him into auditioning for Crossroads. All was fine until in episode 12,987 Benny had to kick a beach ball through the doors of an aircraft hanger. Instantly fans saw what could have been. Hatred for the owner erupted, and mass boycotts and protests prevailed for many years.